My first REAL post.

I know my actual first post was pretty dumb. Why write anything if you're not going to say anything, right?

So I'm ignoring it.

I'm out of college now. I have been since May. I've been in Omaha since the end of July. When I moved out of Emporia, I'd really hoped that I would... I don't know, DO something. I have a job working retail at Banana Republic. But that's really it. I haven't done much else aside from cooking. I did audition for a play at the Community Playhouse, but there was only one girl part and I was too young for it.

But this is good for me. I'm now absolutely fed up with being bored, and I'm doing something about it. I've picked two monologues to audition with in January, I'm on the hunt for two more (two comedic pieces, one classical and one modern, if you can think of any), and I'm saving some funds up for whatever is coming.

What am I auditioning for, you ask? Well... I don't quite know the answer to that myself. I've applied for U/RTAs in New York City. But even after sending in my application I've been wondering if grad school really is what I want to do. I mostly sent it in as a precaution, and because it's not only grad schools I could audition for at U/RTAs. But then I had a talk with my fantastic friend, Lindsay. She's been in California for the best part of a year, and she told me how she's not the happiest she could be with her location. She'd auditioned for something called the ITAs last January, got a few call-backs, but by then she'd decided to move to California so nothing panned out.

What are the ITAs? Something awesome, it turns out. The Illinois Theatre Association holds auditions every year for several theatre companies based in Illinois, mostly in Chicago. Anywhere from 20-30 companies see you audition, and can call you back to audition for their company. Problem is... it's the exact same weekend as the U/RTAs I'd signed up (and paid) for.

So that was it. I wasn't going to ITAs, I was still going to U/RTAs, so I shouldn't fret about it. Well... I'm all about instinct at this point in life, and that just didn't quite mesh with what I felt was right. But it's paid for. I have to go. And then I talked to my dad about it (mostly just in passing, telling him what Lindsay was up to now), and he said "And you already paid for U/RTAs?" "Yeah," I said. "How much were they?" "A hundred dollars." "Well, Lindsay, think about it. If this is something you really want to do, I'll pay you the hundred that you already gave to U/RTA." I couldn't believe my ears! How awesome of my dad.

And now you know my whole debate. I'm leaning towards ITAs... but at the same time, I wasn't just going to U/RTAs for myself. I was going to New York to support one of my greatest and closest friends, Ryan, when he auditions for Juilliard. Before I even thought about U/RTAs, I'd planned on going to morally support him in something he really wants to do, and consequently is extremely nervous about.

It might not seem like much of a debate to an onlooker. But it sure feels like one.